Enhancing Your Emotional Intelligence Skills

carolineclark9
Nov 10
3 min read

I first started exploring emotional intelligence in my early leadership roles. My knowledge continues to impact my approach to leadership and inclusion. Emotional intelligence is more than just a buzzword; it’s a vital skill set that helps us connect, understand, and lead with empathy. For those working in education and SEND leadership, developing this skill can transform how we support our teams and students alike.

Most of you will understand emotional intelligence, but how can you nurture it in your daily practice? I’ll share practical tips, reflections, and encouragement to help you reflect on your practice.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence Growth in Leadership

Emotional intelligence growth is about becoming more aware of your own emotions and those of others. It’s a continuous process of learning and adapting. When you grow emotionally, you’re better equipped to handle challenges, communicate effectively, and foster a positive environment.

Think about a time when a difficult conversation felt easier because you understood the other person’s feelings. That’s emotional intelligence at work. It’s about recognising and managing emotions constructively.

Here are some key components to focus on:

Self-awareness: Recognising your emotions and their impact.
Self-regulation: Managing your reactions thoughtfully.
Empathy: Understanding others’ feelings and perspectives.
Social skills: Building strong, respectful relationships.
Motivation: Staying driven by meaningful goals.

Which of these components do you consider a strength? Which areas need more development? What do these components look like for you, and what is the impact of not demonstrating them? By nurturing these areas, you create a foundation for inclusive leadership.

Eye-level view of a calm office space with a notebook and pen on a desk — A calm workspace encouraging reflection and growth

Practical Steps for Emotional Intelligence Growth

Growth doesn’t happen overnight, but small, consistent actions can lead to meaningful change. I have seen that leaders are often quick to react or have a set phrase or approach to managing others' emotions. Here are some practical steps I’ve found helpful, and I hope you will too:

Pause and Reflect: Before reacting, take a moment to breathe and consider your feelings. This pause helps you respond rather than react.
Practice Active Listening: When someone speaks, focus fully on their words and emotions. Avoid interrupting or planning your response while they talk.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage deeper conversations by asking questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think would help?”
Keep a Journal: Writing about your emotional experiences can increase self-awareness and track your progress.
Seek Feedback: Invite trusted colleagues to share how your communication affects them. Use this insight to adjust your approach.

These steps are simple but powerful. They help you build emotional intelligence in a way that feels natural and sustainable.

Take a moment now to consider one small change you can make today to nurture your emotional intelligence. Maybe it’s pausing before responding, or asking a colleague how they’re really feeling. These small acts build momentum.

The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Inclusive Leadership

Inclusive leadership requires more than policies and procedures; it demands emotional intelligence. When you understand and value diverse emotional experiences, you create a culture where everyone feels seen and supported.

For example, when working with SEND students or staff, emotional intelligence helps you:

Recognise the unique challenges they face.
Respond with patience and understanding.
Adapt communication styles to meet different needs.
Build trust through genuine empathy.

This approach not only improves relationships but also drives better outcomes for the whole community, e.g. reduced absence, improved retention, an open approach to problem solving and support.

Close-up view of a diverse team collaborating around a table with documents and laptops — A team working together with empathy and focus

How to Foster Emotional Intelligence in Your Team

Developing your own emotional intelligence is just the beginning. As a leader, you have the opportunity to nurture these skills in others. Here are some ways to encourage emotional intelligence growth within your team:

Model Emotional Intelligence: Show vulnerability and openness in your interactions. Share your own learning journey.
Create Safe Spaces: Encourage honest conversations without judgment. Let team members express their feelings freely.
Offer Training and Resources: Provide workshops or reading materials focused on emotional intelligence and communication.
Celebrate Emotional Wins: Recognise moments when team members demonstrate empathy, patience, or effective conflict resolution.
Encourage Reflection: Build regular check-ins where the team can discuss emotional challenges and successes.