Supporting Parents: Beyond the Brick Wall

By Caroline Clark – Leadership Coach, SEND Specialist, Foster Carer

Parents and carers of children with SEND often carry an invisible weight. They’re navigating complex systems, advocating fiercely, and doing it all while managing work, family life, and their own well-being. One partner may be working full-time, while the other juggles appointments, paperwork, and emotional fallout. The result? Overwhelm, guilt, frustration, isolation—and a deep sense of being unheard.

Despite this, they show up with enduring love and a fierce desire to fight for their children. But when professionals don’t see the full picture, it leads to further frustration. Many parents feel they’re constantly battling for support, only to be met with barriers—or worse, redirected to yet another website. It’s no wonder they feel beaten down by ‘the system’.

They worry their child will miss out. That they’ll be blamed. That their family will fracture under the strain. And often, their own goals and growth are put on hold—because caring takes everything.

So how can we help?

As school professionals, we have the power to shift this experience. Not by fixing everything—but by showing up differently.

• Give time to listen—without judgment.

• Help uncover strengths and clarify what’s happening.

• Support navigation of processes and systems.

• Identify new opportunities alongside existing resources.

• Explore models and approaches that fit the family—not just the framework.

• Use active listening to understand what evidence is needed.

• Be sensitive in questioning—guilt and helplessness may be close to the surface.

• Remind them: they know their child best.

I’ve cared for children and young people in my home for over 15 years—as a foster carer, a Shared Lives carer as well as working as a full time SENDCO. At home, I’ve supported Autistic children, those with ADHD, learning disabilities, anxiety, and attachment needs. I’ve felt the guilt and isolation when systems didn’t respond. I’ve learned how hard it is to explain things in a way that leads to action.

That’s why I now support professionals to build better interactions with parents—ones rooted in empathy, clarity, and shared purpose.

If you’re a school leader, SENDCO, or practitioner looking to strengthen your work with families, I’d love to connect.🔗 Visit my website to learn more.