Curiosity Killed the Cat

I have been told that I ask ‘why?’ too much, as an adult and as a child. I am naturally curious. I wonder about all sorts of things. Sometimes these wonderings generate nonsense, but at other times they expand my thinking and help me learn more. This curiosity has proved invaluable for me, and not once has it led to the demise of any cats.

I work extensively with adults supporting children and young people with SEND. They come to me because they are trying to understand what is happening for those in their care and want things to change. Some adults think the change needs to come from others, but most understand that they are the ones who can make a difference. That understanding comes from curiosity.

Curiosity can reveal what your child is trying to communicate. It gives you tools to support your child while protecting your own well-being. When we pause and wonder, ‘What’s really going on here?’ we move from reacting to exploring -

• unmet needs

• complex emotions

• skills which haven’t yet developed

  
  

I encourage the adults I work with to approach these moments with gentle investigation:

• be curious

• play detective

• look for clues

• wonder why

  
  

When we connect clues and try new approaches with this information, we see more success and positive interactions. More ‘getting it right’. When we collaborate with our young people in the process, they also learn more about what works for them and begin to speak up about what they need.

Adults can often feel guilty or overwhelmed. Curiosity slows everything down. It helps your nervous system settle so you can support theirs.

On a final note, so that no cats are harmed, remember to be kind to yourself

You won’t get this right every time — no one does. Curiosity isn’t about perfection; it’s about noticing, pausing, and trying again with compassion. Every moment of reflection, every repair, every small shift counts. You’re learning, the child is learning, and you’re both doing the best you can with the resources you have.

#UnderstandingBehaviour #ParentingWithConfidence #InclusivePractice